Cyber-Red would be so proud of me......

I broke a record today. I bought 5 pairs of shoes in one go. Even I can't believe the atrocity I've committed today. Maybe I kena jampi or something.

It's mostly my auntie's fault. You see, she is visiting me and I had to do something with her. Now, in Singapore, there's only 2 things you can really do: Eat and shop. I originally planned to stay home and limit our travelling.

But after my landlady and other fellow tenant commented, "What? You're not bringing your auntie to go shopping in the city??!!! How could you?!"I groaned and finally relented.

I hereby, share my shameless shopping bounty and fashion accomplishments.


#Shoe Profile 1

Why I bought it: I really needed a new basic-looking pair of high heels shoes since I've killed 3 pairs this year so far.
Fashion milestone: It's not black!


#Shoe Profile 2

Why I bought it: It's 3-inches high!
Fashion milestone: It's 3-inches high!


#Shoe Profile 3

Why I bought it: It caught my eye with its shiny gold and blood red band combination. Perfect for company dinners and other formal functions. XD
Fashion milestone: It's not black!


#Shoe Profile 4

Why I bought it: It was the cheapest of the lot (SGD 15), it's comfortable, it has cute embroidery stuff on the side.
Fashion milestone: It's not black and it uses slightly different material....eh, something like guni? And yeah, the embroidery stuff too. XD


:: SHOE OF THE DAY AWARD ::

Why I bought it: It's so cute! I know, it's pink but....but it's cute. When I wear it, I feel younger and......cute. (^___^);;;
Fashion milestone: It's not black. Folks, it's friggin' pink. Baby pink too. And that flower. Oh the horrors. The color I sworned to rather die than to wear a few years back. I ought to commit hara-kiri. I've just betrayed myself.


TOTAL DAMAGE: SGD 130.00


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Shopping is evil. Every store deceives you into thinking that you need 100+ shoes, accessories, clothes and handbags to look and feel good.

Aren't those pink heels cute, though?

Virginia Tech Shootings

When I first read about this, I cried. This was something that surprised me considering that I wasn’t a Virginia Tech student/faculty. Neither was I an American.

But I did study in a U.S. university campus for 5 years and seeing all the faces of VT students brought back all those memories. I almost felt like I was on campus grounds again, hearing terms such as “RA”, “dorms”, “fraternity”, “professors” and “bands”. But this time, additional terms such as “guns”, “bullets”, “death”, “blood”, “screams”, ”hatred” accompany it…….

Ever since reading this news, my heart has been heavy. I’ve had relatively dark dreams and my general mood at work is somber. Subconsciously, I’m grieving along with VT even if I’m halfway across the globe and I’ve never stepped into the state of Virginia.

This tragedy has got me thinking about the BIG question: What causes someone to commit such an act? It seemed the gunman was a very troubled man filled with pent up anger, hatred and a desire to hit back. He apparently rallied against rich kids.

Now, I’ll be honest. I think I can relate to his feelings just a little. There’s a part of me that strongly dislikes rich people in general. It’s even worse if it’s “spoiled rich brats.” I can’t stand those who flaunt material riches that they never had to work for and to use such things to justify their superiority over others. Have they no shame? They think they’re better than others just because they were born with silver spoons in their mouths? Acting like the world revolves around them because of someone else’s money…it’s disgusting. I’m typically sickened by shows like Sweet Sixteen.

Now, I also confess that I never liked those crazy Americans students who would get drunk and do stupid things on a regular basis. In my early university years, I thought, ”What’s up with those stupid fraternities and sororities anyway? All they do is get drunk, get laid and boast their connections? You have to be like them in order to fit into the crowd. Sheesh, how lame is that?” This is one of the lifestyles I could never understand and stayed clear of this crowd.

As I kept following on this news, I also learnt of some other past shootings that involved graduate student s. The first involved a Phd. Physics student who killed because he didn’t get an academic award. The other shot his whole advisor board during his 2nd thesis defense.

Now, I was terribly stressed out in my graduate school. I’ve had sleepless nights, overwhelming workloads to deal with, many obstacles towards the success of my research and worse, a professor who greatly pressured me. I’ve received cruel words and up to this day, I know I’ve never gained this individual’s approval.

BUT……as much as I have these unhappy feelings, I’ve NEVER once thought of killing. Sure, I would love to smack a rich brat or two, give a frat boy a wedgie, or yell out at my mean professor, “Why can’t you just understand that I’m doing my best!? Excuuuuuse me, if my best isn’t good enough for you!”

One reason I never thought to go the extreme is because I’ve seen the other side of the coin. I have met generous and kind-hearted rich people. I’ve also met many wonderful American students who don’t profess to the school jock and frat boy/girl lifestyles. God blessed me with some of the most understanding and encouraging professors. In seeing both sides of the coin, I understand that there is a fair balance in such things and seeing the positive side gave me the strength to move forward and do better.

That made me wonder…….did this gunman ever see the other side of the coin? All his life did he only meet the horrible ppl? Or was he too blinded by his hatred and anger to see the good things and blessings in life? At what point, did he finally decide that the whole world was against him and there was no hope left? I can only wonder as the investigation continues………

God comfort the Grieving, Hurt and Traumatized. May His Spirit bring Healing, Joy and Peace among those who call upon His Name and those who don't know who to call upon. May God also have Mercy on the dead and protect innocent ones from any backlash. God Help us. Amen.

It's a Manic Monday

This was the title of an email I received from The Pest today. After reading through what seems like total mayhem that ensues when one's car breaks down in the middle of a KL highway during the peak hours on a regular workday, I wondered whether my story is worthy of being considered manic at all.

******************************************

After a whole day of working on flavors, I stopped by the gym to exercise and picked up some groceries. Sounds like a normal routine day, hmm?

[third person reference]

Mave opens the door and goes "Yoohoo, I'm home...."

(0__0) ;;;

"What the....?"

*stares at the haze clouding the whole apartment*

Mave spots JJ, landlady's son sitting in the living room, engrossed in his computer game.

"Hey! Why is it so smoky? Did you guys burn something?"

JJ's eyes widens and he runs to the kitchen.

Mave drops her groceries and rushes into the kitchen. She finds a pot of charred pasta sitting on the stove.

"Tiiinnggggggggg!"

Landlady's daughter runs into the kitchen and starts groaning. "OH NO!!!! My FOOD!"

As she runs around to clear up the mess, Mave looks on the ground and notices something else.

Small specks that remind her of only one thing: Blood.

(0__0);;;;

"What the...??!!"

*notices the blood on JJ's right big toe*

"Hey! What happened to you?! How did you get that?! Are you OK? Do you need a plaster?"

"Eh....it's OK. I think."

*JJ wanders off to living room*

"AHHH?? What are you doing? Don't use stationary tape!! Aiyo!!!"

*gets wet tissue paper to wipe up small specks of blood that seemed to have dripped from the living room to the kitchen*

"Argh, you're friggin' bleeding. Did you know that? Gosh, you're a biological hazard now. Your blood is all over the place."

*proceeds to clean up blood spots*

Ting groans. "My dinner ah......how now? I have to finish my homework."

"Ting, be careful. The stove is still hot. Soak that pot in the hot water. Can wash later."

*runs off to get plaster, cotton and healing ointment*

"JJ, why don't you go and wash that first?"

*attends to JJ's toe and looks at Ting messing around in the sink, trying to flush down the charred noodles aka hide the evidence*

"Hey, don't do that. It's OK. I'll cook dinner for you. Just go do your homework. But hang on, one thing at a time! First things first. Got to settle the blood thingy and your brother's toe first."

After JJ cleans up his wound and attaches the plaster, Mave proceeds to clean up the mess on the stove.

"Urgh, there's plastic thingy on the stove....what happened? How did you leave something plasticky near the stove? It has melted now....aiyo."

Everyone knew when Landlady aka Mum comes home, some heads would roll.

[/third person reference]

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True enough, Mum was blazing mad when she came home. I fled into my room to avoid the wrath in the form of a torrential list of angry Mandarin words. She wasn't kidding when she said that she was born in the Year of the Dragon. XD;;; At that moment, I was so glad that I'm not the one getting scolded. Hehehe......

In retrospect, this experience made me wonder how my mum had to put up with all my messes and mistakes. It also made me wonder what type of mum I would be. Could I made a good mother? Having kids can be difficult and challenging. Perhaps, experiences like this serve as small step preparations for such a future.

Oh and btw, if you're curious, check out The Pest's Manic Monday. At least, it doesn't involve a bunch of careless teenage kids. XD

The most important day in Christian faith doesn't seem so important

Pushing that Easter rabbit aside, this should be the biggest day for anyone who believes that Christ has resurrected from the dead that was sealed on Good Friday. Then, why is it.....so quiet?

I admit to festering a lukewarm attitude towards this celebration as well. This weekend, I was busy travelling and couldn't really focus any attention on the significance of these days. Nuts, I couldn't even make it to Easter Service. Now, here I am sitting on a Sunday Easter evening.....wondering where all the time went and what else is left to do.

I have an easier time relating to Good Friday - I hammered the hands and legs of Jesus to the cross through my sins. Instead of being punished and having my blood spilled, Barnabas the murderer was freed, while Jesus Christ, Son of God, Innocent Lamb of God, was sentenced to death, not because of what He did but for Who He said He was. Looking back at what I've done and whom I have become, it's so easy to associate myself with Barnabas.

Sure, I may not have murdered someone else like Barnabas but I firmly believe that I cannot save myself. I'm not sure what other religions teach but I'm terribly convinced that the best things I do on this planet cannot even come close to being on par with God's worst actions on a goodness scale. Maybe some believe that there isn't an absolute Good in this universe, but there's this gut feeling in me that screams that there has to be something better than what we now have on this planet and our existence is not some random accident.

As Switchfoot sings in "Dare You to Move,"

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

There is something wrong with this planet and us. I look at myself and can't deny that. If the only way to earn Love and to be accepted into Heaven is to be beautiful, successful, rich, intelligent and talented, seems like all of us are seriously screwed.

No matter how much beauty products or tips we use, how much more beautiful can we all be?

No matter how much money we acquire, how much more rich can we be?

No matter how much we work and study, how much more intelligent can be?

So exactly, how can we kid ourselves by believing that we can earn our way to Heaven/Paradise/SomePlacePerfect?

Jesus Christ's resurrection is the ultimate milestone for the salvation of mankind. He conquers sin and death, offering mankind a way out of their own Mess.

Now, I have a hard time understanding why God would do such a thing. This form of grace and mercy that's totally undeserved is unbelievable and barely existant on this planet. As I write this blog, I know that I will be fated to commit sins for the rest of my life. I don't deserve this redemption. So why God, why bother to save us? I know it's Love but.......it makes little sense. The logical thing to do would be to kill off the human race and start the Creation process again. But in the end, Your desire for free will would still take effect, making a repeat of the Creation process.....pointless.

Is there hope for any of us?

I suppose there lies the answer in the way we each personally view Easter Sunday. Maybe.