Virginia Tech Shootings

When I first read about this, I cried. This was something that surprised me considering that I wasn’t a Virginia Tech student/faculty. Neither was I an American.

But I did study in a U.S. university campus for 5 years and seeing all the faces of VT students brought back all those memories. I almost felt like I was on campus grounds again, hearing terms such as “RA”, “dorms”, “fraternity”, “professors” and “bands”. But this time, additional terms such as “guns”, “bullets”, “death”, “blood”, “screams”, ”hatred” accompany it…….

Ever since reading this news, my heart has been heavy. I’ve had relatively dark dreams and my general mood at work is somber. Subconsciously, I’m grieving along with VT even if I’m halfway across the globe and I’ve never stepped into the state of Virginia.

This tragedy has got me thinking about the BIG question: What causes someone to commit such an act? It seemed the gunman was a very troubled man filled with pent up anger, hatred and a desire to hit back. He apparently rallied against rich kids.

Now, I’ll be honest. I think I can relate to his feelings just a little. There’s a part of me that strongly dislikes rich people in general. It’s even worse if it’s “spoiled rich brats.” I can’t stand those who flaunt material riches that they never had to work for and to use such things to justify their superiority over others. Have they no shame? They think they’re better than others just because they were born with silver spoons in their mouths? Acting like the world revolves around them because of someone else’s money…it’s disgusting. I’m typically sickened by shows like Sweet Sixteen.

Now, I also confess that I never liked those crazy Americans students who would get drunk and do stupid things on a regular basis. In my early university years, I thought, ”What’s up with those stupid fraternities and sororities anyway? All they do is get drunk, get laid and boast their connections? You have to be like them in order to fit into the crowd. Sheesh, how lame is that?” This is one of the lifestyles I could never understand and stayed clear of this crowd.

As I kept following on this news, I also learnt of some other past shootings that involved graduate student s. The first involved a Phd. Physics student who killed because he didn’t get an academic award. The other shot his whole advisor board during his 2nd thesis defense.

Now, I was terribly stressed out in my graduate school. I’ve had sleepless nights, overwhelming workloads to deal with, many obstacles towards the success of my research and worse, a professor who greatly pressured me. I’ve received cruel words and up to this day, I know I’ve never gained this individual’s approval.

BUT……as much as I have these unhappy feelings, I’ve NEVER once thought of killing. Sure, I would love to smack a rich brat or two, give a frat boy a wedgie, or yell out at my mean professor, “Why can’t you just understand that I’m doing my best!? Excuuuuuse me, if my best isn’t good enough for you!”

One reason I never thought to go the extreme is because I’ve seen the other side of the coin. I have met generous and kind-hearted rich people. I’ve also met many wonderful American students who don’t profess to the school jock and frat boy/girl lifestyles. God blessed me with some of the most understanding and encouraging professors. In seeing both sides of the coin, I understand that there is a fair balance in such things and seeing the positive side gave me the strength to move forward and do better.

That made me wonder…….did this gunman ever see the other side of the coin? All his life did he only meet the horrible ppl? Or was he too blinded by his hatred and anger to see the good things and blessings in life? At what point, did he finally decide that the whole world was against him and there was no hope left? I can only wonder as the investigation continues………

God comfort the Grieving, Hurt and Traumatized. May His Spirit bring Healing, Joy and Peace among those who call upon His Name and those who don't know who to call upon. May God also have Mercy on the dead and protect innocent ones from any backlash. God Help us. Amen.