KingdomCome

Japan Mission Trip: Behind that mask

One morning, I was told that we would visit one of HJ’s friends. We spent the morning cooking as a team. If I remember correctly, WT did the rice, L cooked the mushrooms, I did the vegetables and omelette, DL and J worked on the air bandung (rose syrup milk drink). It was fun cooking and the other girls excitedly chattered about meeting MY-san, whom they had met up with before.

Japan Team can cook

We earned some strange looks from fellow train passengers but WT cheerfully carrying the rice cooker. What a trooper!

During the visit, we met up with a young lady in her quarters. Admittedly, I felt a bit awkward at first. The others had already met her and were chatting with familiarity but I was trying to figure out what to talk about. I looked around and my eyes spotted “Hawk Nelson” among her CD collection. (0_0) Woah.

Hawk Nelson "Letters to the President" (Image source: Amazon)

Hawk Nelson is a Canadian Christian alternative rock band, which I didn’t expect to see here in Japan simply because none of my Asian friends are aware of it. I sometimes feel a bit out of place in church because I don’t seem to share the same interests with my peers. To find commonality in something like this all the way at Japan stirred up some personal sense of happiness.

On the way back, I asked HJ, “I heard you counsel people who have difficulties in socializing?”

[source from wikipedia] I know I know....not the most reliable source but...whatever.

Hikikomori (ひきこもり or 引き籠もり, lit. "pulling away, being confined", i.e. "acute social withdrawal") is a Japanese term to refer to the phenomenon of reclusive individuals who have chosen to withdraw from social life, often seeking extreme degrees of isolation and confinement due to various personal and social factors in their lives.

A traditionally strong emphasis on complex social conduct, rigid hierarchies and the resulting, potentially intimidating multitude of social expectations, responsibilities and duties in Japanese society contribute to this pressure on young adults. Historically, Confucian teachings de-emphasizing the individual and favoring a conformist stance to ensure social harmony in a rigidly hierarchized society have shaped much of the Sinosphere (Chinese world), possibly explaining the emergence of the hikikomori phenomenon in other East Asian countries.

In one of the illustrations drawn by her clients, HJ shared with me on how terrified they are that they cannot read someone’s expressions since there seems to be a mask covering the real face behind.

This reminded me of one of my favourite characters in the manga comic, Rurouni Kenshin: Seta Soujirou. As a child, he was despised and abused by his own family as he was born out of wedlock. He eventually learnt how to deal with his pain by constantly smiling although that doesn’t stop his relatives from beating him. One night, after being cornered by his family members who threatened to kill him, this little 6-year-old kid lashed out and successfully killed all of them.

It was a tragedy; his natural talent in sword-fighting emerged out of fear, anger and hatred. He become Shishio’s “smiling” right hand man who could cut you in half without hesitation. During Kenshin vs Soujiro showdown, Kenshin said he struggled in battle because he couldn’t ‘read’ Soujirou’s emotions, which also hindered his ability to read his opponent’s next move.

Here's my favourite smiling assasin

Sou-chan's emotions break through the mask, thanks to Kenshin and is liberated from Shishio's grasp. Yay for Sou-chan!

Disclaimer: I'm not directly referring any danger from this social phenomena. That would be very stupid of me and you to make any conclusions here. My point of sharing about Soujiro is how that in the same way, people are forced to hide their emotions and are not sure how to deal with pressure to conform or with a traumatizing event. In the same way, how many of us are like Kenshin who managed to break through the barrier, reach in and pull Sou-chan out?

Come on, how many of us hide emotions to protect ourselves in the name of being professional or ensuring peace & harmony in the society? I've done that many times and sometimes wonder how healthy is that. My heart goes out to all the Sou-chans out there.

The Japanese education system, like those found in China, Singapore (UH-OH), and Taiwan, puts great demands upon youth. A multitude of expectations, high emphasis on competition, and the rote memorization of facts and figures for the purpose of passing entrance exams into the next tier of education in what could be termed a rigid pass-or-fail ideology, induce a high level of stress. Echoing the traditional Confucian values of society, the educational system is still viewed as playing an important part in society's overall productivity and success.

[rant] Personally, I think the pressures that arise from the education system in Singapore are extreme. Too extreme for comfort. Growing up in Malaysia, I enjoyed being a kid and student. Education was emphasized but it wasn't overbearing. My parents assured me that they would love me unconditionally and reminded me that I should study for my own sake and future. Not for the sake of putting up some foolish front ("oohhh my kids are so SMAARRRTT. I'm such a wonderful parent.")

Urgh. Disgusting. May God save me from being such a parent. Please. I implore You.

Look, I totally agree that education is important and good grades line the path toward achieving personal dreams. But, what bothers me the most is this whole categorization system: Students from as young as kindergardeners are categorized as Top performers ---- Average performer ---- poor performer.

(0___0) Dear sweet chocolate, give these kids a break. Head knowledge is great but can we only start revealing the realities of life when they're a little older? Let the kids enjoy their childhood, for Columbus' sake. Why not teach them moral values and the joys of learning? Or maybe teach them the value of healthy motivations? We are more than just good grades and a piece of paper. Try seeing people as God sees them.

Stop it. Just quit categorizing and reviewing us like some factory quality assurance for product on the shelves. >:O [/rant]

Rants aside, I'm thankful for this visit because it opened my eyes to many things that are going on in my own backyard. I don't know if I could ever be a "Kenshin" but I pray that God will help me to be more understanding and considerate of such matters.

Next: More students....dun dun dun