Forgive me; I try to be as encouraging, informative and edifying as possible. I'm afraid this will have to be a post reserved for letting out unhappy thoughts. Pls skip if this displeases you.
My interview did not go well. Apparently I'm lacking in skills and knowledge in an area that was never a focus course of my major. Now, I have to prove that I have the -enthusiasm- and -potential- to learn and master a skill that I've been struggling for the last few months. I'm pitifully begging....."Pls pls consider me."
I don't know how to express my current feelings. I'm sad because I know that all my hard work and knowledge doesn't seem to matter. I'm furious because I wish ppl would give me a break; I'm barely entry-level and the world is asking me to master a career field that school/internship did not prepare me for. Why am I expected to have the same skills of someone who has 5 years worth of work experience?
Seriously, why even bother? Nothing I can do or am good enough seems to matter and my weaknesses are all ppl care for. I'm tired......very tired.
I want to get out. This place, this country....now just serves as a painful reminder that I can never be good enough for their standards and their system. I'm rejected and abandoned by people who don't know me and not worth that much to the one who knew me the most. Yes, my retreat is pitiful but I wish to avoid from hurting anyone else with my words of anger and self-pity.
God, what am I to do? Perhaps You're using this to beat down my pride but I don't feel that I have any self-confidence anymore. Am I being punished for my sins? Is there no more love reserved from your side? Am I not good enough for You?
I'm hoping that You don't want me to give up at this point of life. Giving up my life and purpose would insult You and everything You've blessed me. There is much that needs to be done; pls give me Your Love, Comfort and Strength to carry on.
Pls remain near and watch over one of Your daughters. Pls guide the works of her hands, the thoughts of her mind and the words of her mouth. Pls show Yourself real in her life.
(Jesus Walks)
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
(Jesus Walks with me)
The only thing that I pray is that me feet don't fail me now
(Jesus Walks)
And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs
(Jesus Walks with me)
I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long
- Kanye West "Jesus Walks"
2 Comments:
Hey Mave, sorry to hear that things didn't seem to work quite well recently. I understand how it feels about the whole job hunting and interviews thingy...Well, from employers' standpoint, of course they usually would prefer someone who has a decent years of experience, I wouldn't deny it and would not argue for it. But then again, it doesn't mean it is not possible at all to get into the position that is "only" for "experienced" folks. I used to whined and was sad about the fact that entry-level positions aren't too easy to land on and that they almost always just wanted someone who has experiences. But someone has to start somewhere...And it's always better to have some sort of knowledge and experience than none at all. So no matter how good or bad an internship is and how much knowledge/skills we have gained prior to the first official job, we shall pay some credits to those. It's understandable that we tend to get disheartened when an interview or job hunting effort didn't go quite well. It really won't hurt to give it a shot even if the effort doesn't pay off at the end. Well yeah, it's sad not to be offered the opportunity. But it doesn't mean you can't start somewhere else for what you are striving for. Well who knows, another opportunity might take you farther than you could think of, or even more than the opportunity that you didn't get. So, try not to let it takes away your self-confidence, nor should it beat you down. One shall not lose self-confidence under any circumstances. It might sound like a statement of "easier said than done". But I can't imagine what we can do and do well if we are not even equipped with confidence...so please lighten up. "May the force be with you" :) ~Pest
Pest is the Best!
Thanks, gal. I really appreciate you cheering on me despite being so far away and for putting up with these -whining- sessions. LOL
I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. My experience in the U.S was great and highly valuable. I had much freedom to make decisions for myself. I guess I was mostly frustrated because I placed too much expectations on myself and on the hiring system as a whole, thus unnecessarily stressing myself out.
Nevertheless, it's great to hear from you and I'm looking forward to moving on! :)
Post a Comment
<< Home