You know, I haven't been in the mood to talk to ANYONE recently. I do hang out with my colleagues sometimes and every now and then, I will comment at cyber red's blog or post something at CAA. But apart from that, I've been ignoring phone calls from friends who calls me and most emails.

I currently find these interactions annoying and irritating. What good are such talks going to be? I anticipate that I'll end up feeling bad about myself after talking to anyone with an opinion. Maybe someone will talk about my breakup as if it was nothing. Or someone will try to persuade me to do something I don't want to do anymore (i.e. stay in U.S.). Or try to 'fix' my mood by suggesting that I do something else.

I'm completely aware that these comments are meant for good and for encouraging me. I know these people mean well. However, bizarre as it seems, I interpret them negatively and they leave me extremely agitated and can't help lashing out instead.

Now, I think it's unfair for me to hurt anyone with my unreasonably cranky mood and sharp words (yes, I can say the nastiest things when I'm in a foul mood). So, I've decided that the best thing for everyone is for me to just to shut up and back off. I'll only interact when I feel like it or am in a decent mood. The last thing I want is any form of pressure and right now, I just want to be left alone.

( '_ ');;;;

......Since when did I start entertaining so much self-pity and resentment? I'm pretty sure that I'm not depressed but neither am I the easy-going or patient person I used to be. I wonder how long this will go on.