I hate my pride. It always creep in when I least expect and by the time, I've realized it, some arrogant deed or thought has already been done. I always want to top over others, I always subconsciously keep scorecards between myself and others, I always gloat silently when I do better than others.

Don't tell me there's nothing wrong with it. There is a lot of wrong with it in my eyes and for good reason. What does all this pride leave me with? Insecurity: Because I constantly fear that someone better than me will come along. Deception: I deceive myself that I don't realize what's out there. Selfishness: No one else matters except me, because I'm -that- great. Impatience/Lack of grace: I expect others to be just as good as...me.

Gahhh!!!! I fear the Lord's lesson in humility because it's always painful for my ego. But I'm thankful that the Holy Spirit faithfully prompts me and I pray that He'll always been there by my side to keep watch over me coz I don't know why I do what I don't want to do. Gotta keep fighting it....fight fight fight