The last few weeks have been very difficult. I've faced many challenges and failures in my research. I had too many things and responsibilities to respond to. I was disorganized, flustered and anxious. I cried, I yelled, I screamed, I slammed stuff around. I did not like admitting my weakness, my inadequacy and limitations.

I felt stupid and useless. How is it that something simple could turn out to be so difficult for me? How it is that my mind cannot train itself to be more critical thinking and logical? I wished that I did not need to sleep and eat so that I could get my work done. I wished I was smarter and knew what to do. It's been a while since I've felt such anguish and despair. It's been a while since I've cried so hard and bitterly (I literrally wailed).

"Stupid enough to learn." Funny how that comforts me. Lord, you remind me that this life I'm living is temporary and there's a journey involved as I make my way back to You. The journey may be jagged, treacherous and painful. I may be slowed down by various obstacles and pushed to the sides. But I'm coming home.